Weekends

OMG going to work on Saturday really makes one sad.....and to think that you have to come back to work on Sundays.....that is so much more worse....this office hours things are killing me-I so don't wanna be spending away my life going to work the whole day and the sight of crying children makes it so much more worse........at least for most us of this generation, we had our mothers sending us to school and all but nowadays is like so much more worse-the poor children hardly get to see their children.....instead of at least mothers sending them to school, nowadays it is either maid or the grandparent.............it's just sad to see them crying and all that.....Haiz, but this is life nowadays..............Saw Aetbaar on yesterday........OMG the movie was just so very nice....it was so sweet and everything....the love story was sweet but the way John Abraham was a mad maniac.....really very interesting but I guess it was the parent child relationship that was the best part of this movie....

Anyway, it's countdown to HOLI....am so excited about that-last year, wasn't able to go and the best part about the whole event was that I got to see "HER" on tv...the horror was really OMG and the thing is that I heard she is performing this year-that's another OMG.........
Anyhow, am glad that this year would be able to go-can be with the two sweeties and am trying to get my Zoo animals to come along but I hardly have any expectations except from them...some already have plans and I don't think the rest would be interested in the idea of getting all coloured and travelling in the public transport looking like a clown!
Still remember the holi celebrations in 2006-it was so funny.......an unknown guy just came around and put colour on us and ran away....haha and Beena's new found friend-OMG haha he and she were both so cute. Can't wait for holi to come and thankfully it would be on Saturday....haha. Sad thing is that Parents and lil bro would get to celebrate Holi in India....it's like getting the real taste...seriously I would love to celebrate one whole year in India to celebrate all the festivals.....hopefully that day would come..........
Haiz, anyway....today is going to be spent doing dad's work and after that, would spend a few hours and then, the new work week would start again!!!

Am so sad and everything that the time for their departure is coming so soon...though it is for a short period, it is still very hurting and more sad is the thing that I can't go for her wedding at all-the one and only wedding I had been waiting for and that's the wedding that I can't go for at all.....but at least I am in another country,isn't it worse to be unable to go for your sisters wedding despite being in the same country as her?-Haiz, Didi....your wedding is at such a time where non of the sisters from your maternal side can attend-it's all a part of destiny.........

For some reason, I am just feeling so tied up, irritated, angry and freaked up............I am just so sick and tired of relationships and the way people are......
-She is just so distanced from us...Why so?-Ego of belonging to a rich family? And to think that I had so much expectation when I heard of your arrival....everything has been shattered and now, I only have HATRED for you....there are a lot of people I despise and all but no one like you....The tot just hurts that despite being in a small and accessible country, I, being an aunt, don't feel like-I couldn't even celebrate my niece's b'day and to think I was waiting for it.......
-I know that you were disappointed but I though you would understand me, instead even you thought of me to be weak before hearing my reasons....I tot we were close and all but you let one event just come stand in between....I apologise to you and that's all I can do....it's up to you to accept the apology and make things to normal...or we can just continue on as strangers this way-with an awkward feeling.......
-I regarded you as my dearie and yet this is how you were with me...it just hurt me so much whenever you are like tat.....I tot you would understand me but how can you,when you never listen to me....I know everyone is different and everything but the way you act with me, I guess that is another reason why I am still so not confident. I want to regain my self-confidence and yet with the way you treat me, my self-confidence just drops......I take you to be someone very close to me, a sister even but I guess I don't have that much of a special spot in your life do I?

With all these feelings and happenings, I am happy that at least I have my Rabbit-thanks so much for calling me and all-it just means so much to me..............I guess throughout my whole life, I have been so made used of that now I am scared and yet, it is happening again-When you need me, I am there for you but you don't really care about me when there is no need for is there?-Thanks a lot for that,my 'FRIENDS'.

F*CK, why can't I learn to let go expectations from you and everyone? Why do I think that people actually care about me as much as I care about them when in reality, I am just a tool being used.....Why can't I learn to become selfish? Why do I hang on to the tot that Help others and others would help you? Why am I like this?-Well, I am just gonna hang on to the tot that all this is happening to me because GOD definitely has something in store for me...........I HOPE and I PRAY......

Life keeps going........