Bored

Ok, I have been kinda neglecting my blog by not updating and all but the reason is due to the fact that I have nothing to blog about! My days seem to be whizzing by with my playing Farm Town and such on FaceBook and by watching Kdrama-Yes, once again-I have become an addict=Family's Honour!

My life is going through a very boring phase right now...with me being stuck at home and all...thankfully-there are plans for next week:
-Mon, having lesson-hopefully wud get to book a date in Sep
-Going for movie on Tues with Asha, Mithi and trying to get more ppl to come to make
the group huge.....Let's see-my two bros + Mano [third bro] n my cuz,so that I wont
be the oldie of the group, haha...
-Attending the ACCA talk, just to accompany Nans
-Going for Lunch on Wed
Ok, Just reading this and I am wondering-WOW! I am getting so excited for this and wad happens after wad?? It would be back to boredom town.....haiz, I wanna do something with the days, am trying to get the lessons to be twice a week but it depends on him.....I wanna get more assignments but have to be currently satisfied with one[of which the family is damn great and friendly and with a cute baby] and I wanna do the course but it starts in Jul and I wanna work and tat too starts in Jul...so basically this month of June is gonna be BORING!!!!!









Am really getting sick with the current flow and moreover, the days seem to be whizzing by which am not really sure if is a good thing or bad....I need my days to be more filled, not just with FB and Kdrama!!

I am oso getting sick and tired of having to hear the same thing over and over and over again.....I know that I am a bad choice but at least, I am making use of this time to get a break and work a lil-This is probably something which I know I would not get to do again .. I just want to enjoy the moment without any regrets...but I dont think its possible anymore coz as for now, I have been black labelled.......Haiz, my dreaming of going back all of a sudden without any annoucement and such, that oso so often-what does it mean?

Paying Guest

After like so long of waiting for new hindi movies to come out, I am reduced to this-having to entertain myself with just wathcing the trailers-Like WTH...I wonder when the movies would be release as per scheduled...like the kambakkht Ishq...haiz, was suppose to go n watch with my dearies but there is no idea as to when its gonna come out.....Haiz, this is getting boring.

Graduation

Finally-The day came, whereby we are no longer considered as students.....Well-Yest was the Graduation and wow-its over...I cudnt sleep on Sun night all due to the anticipation of graduation, thinking abt what wud happen if one were to trip and fall and worse of all, I woke my bro up at 5, an hour and half earlier than usual-I dont even know wad I was thinking-Poor kid.

Well the ceremony all was ok and everything....got to meet up with all the mates...like seeing them after so long

-P.S: photos at Facebook, too lazy to upload....and Mano Bro-My blog isnt dead, this just goes to show that u dont read my blog, ya??

After that, rushed home and then went out to meet Mithi and Asha....Dearie Asha suprised me with a grad gift-very pretty candles and in my fav colour too-haha, thanks girl!!

Well, it was great meeting up with them and moreover, meeting Mithi after so long and meeting Asha for the first time officially for an outting....it was great fun!

Well, cant believe that Poly life has officially ended....and a great way to end it-Thank u to my two buddies who were sitting beside me during grad for preventing me from decayin away...they were both a great company, filled with laughter and crazinesss......
To all my frens-I dedicate this song to u guys:keep in touch yea...




Something u guys wud understand more....haha....

Too Dependent

The above word totally applies to me-today, with all that happened, I realised that I am very dependent on the people around me.

I am dependent on my friends to go out to do shopping-anyway, it turned out to be a disaster...and in the end-I am wearing wad I originally planned. Seriously speaking-I felt totally disgusted at myself when I found myself asking for help=I had to ask help from Nisa to get stockings-which I managed to get by myself after running around like a mad person, Poonam to help me do threading after both the shops closed early-thanks so much for that babe and Reka to help me get the cards from Bao ling-which am gonna get it from her tom......Seriously, just reading through I have mentioned the words help so many times....OMG-Wads wrong with me.......Haha...well-at least I know wads wrong with me to improve myself,na?

Well, another thing that I realised is that I am totally not cut out to be a last min person-being last min apparently runs in the family but I am not the type=I totally found myself panicking!!!

Wow=two lessons learnt today!! Great-am so gonna improve myself-I wanna be a better person, more independent!!!!

Tired....of it all

Its just damn tirin to keep quiet, not be able to do anything-not even break down....it hurts a lot......Yea-i know am a disappointment and all=I am just a STUPID and DUMB person who always ends up taking the end of the brunt-am sick of it all. Once again, like sec school, I feel like ending this all but tat wud be a cowardly act...
I need a spontaneous friend with whom I can just freely plan last min things whenever there is the feeling for it........
I feel like everyone-my frens and bro have a life, except me!

Videos......

Ok, its been a week since I last blogged and for the past week-theres been nothing much happening....I met up with Rac and Nisa and we talked to this cool tourist due to whom I really really feel like travelling....I also on the other hand need a JOB-I wanna get tuitions and I am getting so sick of calling them and waiting but yet, with hope-I await for the phone call.........Moreover, I am now addicted to Farmtown game on Facebook, its just so cool la...if only we cud earn money that easily but haha-it is still fun.....

Cant believe am graduating on Monday but the most touching thing is that my dear bro-Mano is coming down for my graduation though he is a test on that day-am really touched by it dear bro.....And am thankful for Bl for the tix........haiz, really cant believe that another chapter has come to a close..........

I hadnt expected it to be so difficult to tell others as to what I am doing and when I am saying so, it kinda hurts la but since this is what I chose, I have to go on with it.....I really hope that it wud be more successful next year and all and in the meantime, am gonna try and make things look better as in my interaction with kids-I wanna make it such that I dont feel like killing them sumtimes....I rmb-taking a pri 2 class and there was this kid getting on my nerves that I wanted to say-F*** U!!!! Seriously for Pri2-it was really a bit too much....Now, I wud do anything to go back to the routine.....am hating havin nothing to do right now....

Woohooo-I got another hanging out group-Mithi and Asha=that makes me the oldie between them but I cant wait to go out with these two ladies....Its just getting exciting!!! I have no idea if tom the plan is gonna happen but I am getting excited by the tot of it-I really hope that it happens=I mean gg out with a big grp, it wud be so so so so Cool!!!!!-Bros=U guys better make it happen.......

There feels a distance when am with them and I realise that I am just getting more and more and more quiet by the time....I dont know how its gonna be....

Yea-I know that I catch things late and so on but I am in love with this song can-The Reason.....for some reason, its jsut very touching.....


This video is just so cool la...their steps are marvelous and from 1.45 onwards-it just gets WOOHOO...Seriously-I dont remember seeing this episode of SYTYCD...and its just such a cool tot that they are now introducing Bollywood dance into the program-it just gets marvelous.....cant wait for new season episodes....

Van baby,u shud really check this out=

Memories....of Sec School

Nagme hain, shikwe hain

Kisse hain, baatein hain
Baatein bhool jaati hain
Yaadein yaad aati hain

This is my fav dilogues from the song Yaadein cos I feel that they are totally priceless words-Talking about that=met up with Aisha yesterday to get the books from-going back to basics again, having to learn to love wad I had been avoiding=haha well, one cant run away forever right?Well, getting back-yesterday was a day of flashbacks=the two of us met at Chinatown...getting out there, I felt like gg back to school but thinking back about it-thought that it felt strange.....so we both met up, went near Mays mom shop for lunch and after that, we spent time looking for the This Fashion that Aisha wanted to visit and while looking for it, we found ourselves walking to Clarke Quay and since we were there-we went to liang court=since they were advertising so heavily about it being newly furbished and all...so we walked there only to find the whole place rather empty and there were more of eateries there-eateries of Jap kind of food and all...so we went to Mac to sit and rest our tired legs-theres where all the flashback started more properly=prev session was during lunch but that was more jumbled up with our current updatings.

So the two of us sit and just started thinking about the past time and how we did what we did. There seemed to be just so much to talk about:
Sec 4/5
>Mary and May-these were the two people whom we wondered ab how we tolerated...One was
kinda ok but the other really got onto my nerves with her acting cute and irritating ways,
basically being a suck-up.....and the other was a typical teacers pet....
>Feroz and Dong Heng-the two cuties who sat behind us....One had lady like fingers and the
other was astro boy.....
Coming to teachers:-
>Mr. DT=The best Eng teacher you can ever get!!! Seriously! His lessons were fun and
terrifying. Before he would even enter the class, we wud panic to ensure we had his work along
with the books on the desk and also, with everything else, tat the area ard us was
clean......Getting wad I got for Olevel eng, I feel sad in the sense that I got totally opp of wad he had predicted.....Ms You, red in the middle wif two great teachers by her side-Mrs Hodge on the left, with the tamil language teacher who was damn kind hearted along with our chem teacher/councellor at the right..
>Ms You=The teacher who made me fall in love wit accounting! She was a damn hardworking
teacher who also made us work hard......Never was there a day whereby she didnt gave us a
practice paper and her accounting file was damn thick!!>Mrs Yow=The teacher who still keeps in touch with us....She was one lady who was calm and
collected and yet made sure that we studied!
>Ms Chan=The one line of hers that I remember till date is-A Verb is an action word!! Our Sec
1&2 form teacher....she just left the school without telling us where she was gg....
>Mr Krishnan=The Devil!! Though I have to admit that he was a great science teacher-he was
also a devil in the sense that he wud just suddenly call ur name, like DT, and if u were to answer
his question wrongly or not pay attention-that was the end of u=He was embarass and disgrace
U like MAD!!!
>Mr Derrick Wong=The B... A..! Seriously, he made me fall in love with Maths-it was because of
his class that I started to study and work hard and to aim for the best, to get praised for my
efforts-I guess the reason was that he praised, which was the only good thingd about him and
that was the only avenue for me to be acknowledged for my work! But there was another thign
abt him was that he was b...ed and that was also towards C....... and I still remember this one
incident whereby Estee, she actually spoke out the truth in a roundabout way and turns out
that she was chased out because of it-Cud be seen how hurt she was because of all
that...Haiz...Seriously, one cant be perfect!
The Funniest Malay language teacher-Mr. Ridhuan, if I rmb correctly...Reading all this makes me feel that wow time has really passed by very very very fast.....And esp Sec school is the one time whereby its hard to forget and all.........Miss Sec School

Where did this come from?

One moment, I feel that I have everything planned out and the most exciting thing is that I feel they are supportive of it all-then all of a sudden:Boom, there seems to be a bomb dropping on me-what is it with this sudden turn in direction=why must things change to be like this? Why cant I for once decide what I want-wht must it be looked at like a waste of a year and not a break? Why cant they listen and for once. Support me? I guess I got too damn excited abt somethung that I dont think would ever happen-what do I do?

Great!

I had a strange dream-seriously=all of a sudden, my parents bring me to the airport and say that I am gg to go India on that day itself at that time and being the sucker that I am for suprises, I get so excited before realising-wow I am gg only in dream and you know the first thing that I did was to sms a certain mynah only to receive no reply and the next thing I know, I am on the flight to HOME!!! That is just before my alarm rings and reality sinks in!

Haiz.....Seriously-I feel like gg away for 6 months=just go away from this all-Can I?????

The whole thing felt surreal and now, it sinks in-everything is returning to normal with me being called what I always have been=yea, its hurting and all but this is what I have been called and seem to have been labelled by them-both of them along with the other trio-I feeel cornered.....I feel dumb-maybe this is why I wanna run away.......I await the day when those words that I wanna hear would come out but I doubt that the day would ever come......In anticipation, I await till eternity for things that I know would not happen and yet I await...........

Heya!!

OK...I think sometimes, I am getting a little too impatient...I look at the thing and the works produce and I am like-WTH, I just wasted so much time and this is the thing I get?!? And after that I am like, why cant hey grasp it=yea, I have to say that I have forgotten my own times when the same things were killer to me.....Well, things are going fine sio far....I am still able to stay sane so am thankful for that-I am not sure if its gonna end next week or what but I am hoping for it to continue...

One thing I have realised that when its with them-its all about walking the distance:
-Wif Van and Mita=We usually find ourselves walking to Clarke Quay and then when we realise this fact, we turn the other direction and walk to another place-though I would prefer Clarke Quay because of its happening environment.......
-Wif Aisha=After meeting her for so long, it was nice listening to her and catching up with each other........

Some times, the smallest of things such as just taking a simple walk together bonds people more than they can imagine...........Currently=all I can say is that with all this, I am missing my friends-I feel like having meetings with them weekly if not then fortnightly wif each of the groups...Hopefully once most of them are stabled and such, then these things would become smoother........

Am in love with this song-find myself falling in love with songs easily and I have no idea why..........

Friendship

This is one term that I have a very weird relationship with-and I have totally no idea as to why for that. The earliest was with Aisha-the tiffs we had becauseof that May but in the end, we managed to survive through and she managed to tolerate me and is currently still doing so....Thank U my dear fren.....Next on was Amrita and with her, the chapter was due to Anu-I guess for her was becuase I couldn,t take the fact that there was another person in our 'power' group and was really uncomfortable-a better word for being jealous , I guess-haha. And finally was TEP time whereby loneliness again drove out this streak inside me but thankfully-I gained new frens and bonded close with current.
The thing I have realised about myself throughout all this experience is that I do all this is becuase of my low self esteem-I just am too not confident about myself-I know my prob but dont know how to solve it..........I feel that once again, the sense of loneliness is taking over-am I getting jealous=u cud say so or maybe I am just sick and tired of all that has happened that I feel very tired this time......Is this why I am craving for a break??????

Atleast the good thing of all these is that I have gained experience and such and I know that the group of friends I have is precious-and I would treasure each and every one of my dear frens......

Uncertainty

Ok, I have totally confusion over the whole thing but am gonna let it slide.....You can say tat am running away or whatever but just thinking about it and all has drained me, am totally exhausted..exhausted from all the thinking as to why there's no reply,saddened by the type of replies and shocked at whats being said and what is being done=is this the reason that I am craving for a break? I have no idea......I was so happy when she called me-hearing her voice after so long,I just cant wait to meet my deae friend on Mon.....Along with that, cant believe she had to wait for him for 4 hours...damn the stupid thing-but glad that he is back and all.....I am awaiting the whole thing but am feeling more excited about going home- I hope it comes true. To be able to go and have a break is what I really want for now.....we shall see-even if it were to happen, I have to wait till Oct to have company....God-please make it come true.......! I am getting excited by the day!