Humans+Defects

I know I am not perfect but so are U!........GOD has created all of us with defects, some with more than one:-

-I know I am big Sized-So? I still love/like myself
-I know my feets are broad and big-So? I can still get slippers my size
-I know my face doesn't have smooth skin and all-So? I still love my face features esp my eys and my smile [I know I am being thick skin here, but yea]
-I know I am not as fair as my cousins-So? My current skin colour is the result of my fav sport-Swimming
-I know my mood swing sucks-So? Everyone/Majority of the people suffer from mood swings

Before you look at others and say things that put you in a good spot, have a GOOD look at yourself first-ARE U PERFECT? If you dare say -YES, then you should go to WOODBRIDGE because nobody in this World is perfect-Everyone is born with defects-too short, fat, thin, tall, dark, fair etc....

It's not that I don't try-I tolerate with your nonsense and everything all because of the relationship that we have. I give you chances again and again because I put myself in your shoes and think that when I was your age, I did lots of stupid stuff as well but....how long do I have to keep on doing this? Don't accuse me of being like my cuz cos I am not...we are from the same family but I ain't B***h like her.....I want to go out with you and everything but no trust is given, I wanna confide in you but you tell others/tell tales so what's the point of confiding? and I try to treat u like a lil dear but what is the point when you act as a know-it-all?The anger in me is so boiling now that if I want, I would write down all your defects right here and now-but what's the point? That would make me stoop down to the same level as you....You wanna compare yourself to me-Go ahead but please....if not naturally, I can do things medically but how about yourself?-The most you can go is 6/10 inches [if you can carry off that is....]-Oh well, we shall see.....

I am so sick and tired of everything now....I wanna become my old-self again.....the old me who used to be a good and quiet person, who used to do her works on time and who used to go home and everything after school.....I am so gonna revert back or if not,. then change for the better......
There is a great satisfaction in doing housework but I don't think I can ever become an ideal housewife-I do things way too last minute but the satisfaction of seeing the result of your efforts is just AWESOME!

Whatever-This is life and this is how it works....LONELINESS IS KILLING MOI!!!!!

FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY

Haha....can't wait for it at all!! Finally!!! It's coming-It's Coming!


My family life is going crazy!! I am so hating my family now [some members of my extended fam, that is]-Oh well....whatever-I can't be bothered anymore and am now so happy that at least, even my dad realised it! If that was what he did, I am so PROUD-I know it is being evil...but for what he did for her...that was the "Just Dessert" :P

Holi Celebration

Woohoo-Holi was a BLAST! Thanks a lot Poonam and Anshu for convincing me to go....Thank you so much!!! Haha ...if not for you both, I wouldn't had enjoyed so much nor get coloured like a clown nor "scare" the people at Jalan Kayu and nor dance straight for 4.5 hours!!!

Omg Omg-What a day!

Had work in the morning and during that, bro called and smsed me to go for the holi celebrations....finally, mom allowed so I went. After work, decided to meet Poonam and Family at 4...-This is why I say Family is so much more important and worth your attention than friends....I asked you guys along, some had plans, work etc. ....Well, this is how life works-Accept it & I have ald accepted it now!

Well, came home-too lazy and rushing for time to go Sonu's house. Eat lunch then got ready, cousin came and then we made our way. Met up with Poonam and fam then uncle sent us to Boon Keng. From there-Poonam and fam went to get her specs while I and cuz went to get the colours....-Just when we get out at Lil India-It is raining cats and dogs and yet we walked in the rain to the shop and back to farrer park..

Haha as we were walking acroos this pathway, running over a longkang, Saw a guy who was trying to cut queue and he "jumped"over the longkang only to drop in it-It was literally quite a scene. Haha....

Ok, then the celebration started-throwing of colours on one and all-haha the colours are still not getting off and now I have a red/pink rimmed glasses....anyway, soon after that-was Dance time! Oh Man-when I get wif Poonam and Beena...haha all is forgotten except teh though of dancing! Though we agreed not to do our stuffs, in the end-We were still mopping, sweeping the floor and cleaning the windows...haha. Apart from all these, were also Anupam's performance [quite nice but it wasn't that smooth in coordination], Sheila did's performance [great dance] and the best was Shudhir and his Bro-In-Law's DHOL performance...OMG-with every beat, it was as if your heart was pumping hard as well-Sheetal Did is one lucky lady to have such a hip and talented hubby...haha still remember her wedding ....One of a kind-the only wedding where the girl leaves laughing along with the family and the mehndi night-haha the way the Dhol troupe had came to the hall dressed as ladies-Oh well, this are the incidents that make life Great....

Anyway, after all that was dancing and dancing and dancing-Daljit came and woohoo-more dancing...but the whole thing had to end and after that, we went home [I went for a lil washup at Nisa's house] then Uncle came and picked us up reluctantly and according to suggestions, made us sit on the floor....haha Unique experience-Girl's at the front and Guys sat at the back. Well, talking and laughing and singing and listening to songs, we made our way home but before that-we went for dinner at Jalan Kayu-Just imagine...a group of 7 people [6 at the worst] all dressed in clothes which are coloured, bottoms filled with mud [Oh yea, I forgot-It had rained so we walked, ran and danced in the rain!] walking at 12 midnight to go and eat dinner-it was really quite a sight! Haha some were really staring and some laughed-haha there was this kid who got scared.....
Well, all things have to come to an end. So after dinner, we made our way home to washup and drop on our beds......Well, till now, it is still aches and pains and struggle to get the colours off.....Time would get it off and get the pain away-Woohoo...parents coming back soon-Finally!!! Now, I am so happy......

{Holi pictures coming as soon as I get them :P }

Just Give Up

I now you guys care for me and all.....but I end up disappointing and hurting you:-

I AM REALLY SORRY FOR IT!

Just give up on me, k? I am so not worth the energy you spent on being disappointed and frustrated![I don't know how to put it and how to explain anymore....I know everyone is working hard and is tired and everything but things are really going the wrong way for me]

I so miss everyone...it's been 1 month plus since i saw you guys, don't you think that I also want to meet up?If you guys are frustrated or disappointed-tell it to my face.....don't just expect me to understand without words-I am not so good/clever...

I don't know what has come over me and what is coming over me but I really want to GIVE UP and END IT ALL-The pain is just too unbearable.....

No more HOLI celebrations for me.....No shower of colours...no dance...no party....No Anything!

Expecations + Disappointments

They say-Never have expectations from others if not, you would only end up disappointed-but can we help ourselves from expecting from others?

I don't know about others but I definitely cannot.......it always happens to me....Whenever I expect something to happen, it would not happen and whatever I pray to not happen, it happens-I would seriously doubt if am an unlucky person......

No matter how many times it happens, there is always the expectations....e.g with Aisha, whenever we plan on going out or whatever, she would always have something on in the end-it has always been happening like this since I have known her and yet I would always expect her to turn up the next time we plan on going out only to end up disappointed....though I would expect it, there would always be the disappointment which would stab you hard like a knife.

For now, it is the HOLI thing. Parents and Sonu and all would get top celebrate it in India and as for me, I am going to celebrate by being and Mummy's house and helping to clear up in preparation for Sonu and Bhaiya's arrival. I had though of going for this year's celebration lakin kya hua-I had emailed sab and told them abt it and then, jab maine unse pujhe tab-sab ke paas kuch na kuch tha.....it just hurted even more painfully yaar.....first time ki maine koi outting planned karne ki koshish ki-and look at the response-ALL NOT COMING! Agar aise bhi hota ki 1 aata/aati to bahut khushi hoti lakin....haha-Kya dosti......

Expectations of at least one to turn up, expectations for you to reply and expectations for you to call.................I feel as if maine ek Help Desk hoon-Jab help ki jarorat pari then u looked for me otherwise, kahan ho tum? Tumhe sms, offline messages diya and ur reply-Nothing......

WHY DO I BOTHER?-My Life just S*cks Big Time!

The BIG Day

Finally, tomorrow is the day. Do I call her sister or sis-in-law now? Do I call him brother or bro-in-law? Haha....it is just so funny how some relationships change over time and bondings grow closer....talking about all these, I realise that I don't really "suka" my cousins [Dad's side]...Mereka semua, aku tak tahu-Jahat esp dua yang sedang tinggal di Singapore right now..........My blood just boils......Kak-Dia sedang tinggal di dunia her own........
Dia cari kita bila dia perlukan pertolongan kita sahaja.....dan Abang-haiz, what to say? Dia pergi dan complain kepade emak dia sebab why kami tidak bangun kan dia....I mean-OMG-there is a little thing called responsibility and initiative...Ibu, Bapak and adik aku sedang pergi untuk 3 minggu dan kau tak boleh bangun untuk just say Bye kepada mereka?....Other times, kau boleh bangun on ur own accord and untuk ini, kau tak banggun and kau blame kepada kami-kalau nak complain....pergi la dan complain about semua kepada mak kau, ok?

This is how the world is right now-Help others and they only bite you/backstab you from the back.

Sekarang mak dia terlalu risau dengan anak lelaki dia pasal sekarang orang gaji (mak saya) dah takde dan aku bukan macam apa dia thinks a normal girl shud be like[traditional girl]-I am not the sort who thinks that only girls shud work-The world is revolving....Men are beomcing househusbands now.....since all of us are out the whole day, we shud help each other with the house work load as well....macam mana anak raja tu nak selamat.....kalau boleh, aku nak lari daripada semua ini.....

My life is seriously very sucky at the moment in terms of everything....surviving without parents guidance, having a **** time with relatives and worst of all is friends...I am unable to meet them and mujhe nahin peta ki they mera situation samjhe pa rahe hain ya nahin......aggar nahin, to mein kya kar hi sakti hoon....already ek korner mein pek gayi hoon upar se yeh sab...............especially kuch aise dosth jo ki ab bat hi nahin kar rahe hain..........What to do?-I wanna run away...I just wanna run away from all these!

MY LIFE IS SERISOULY S***ING BIG TIME!

Stories

After so long, I am back into writing stories again....Oh man-it's been a long while, close to three years and yet it seemed only yesterday that Aisha was reading my story and telling me to post it online with her friend....Well, I hope I would be able to write as smoothly as before and haha .......We shall let the future talk for itself ;)

Woohoo-I cooked.....haha cooked fried rice yesterday-Haiz, Ankit used to love it with all the hotdog and nuggets being in it. Well, he should be enjoying India's delicacy now....I can't seem to be getting the chance to talk to him since last week whereas my bro has talked to him twice...Today, I cooked Sardine-haha planned on calling Mom to get the recipe instead cudn't get her so that roughly told me how to cook....well, won't say it is delicious but it is edible-shall see if there is any side effects tom-haha

Sometimes, I seriously think I am very Unlucky-seriously. Whatever I want, doesn't happen and the opposite would happen...haiz so sick of it......TEP was like that and now, even IPP...Reka is correct-when I miss someone, I don't know how to express and would simply wait for them to call-which mostly doesn't happen....well, whatever-this is life..............

Dosti-Friends Forever

Watched this movie again today and no matter how many times I watch....the movie still leaves a great impact...though it can be said that this is only a movie and nothing as such happens in real life-I beg to differ because for all my freinds-"Yeh Dosti tere dam se Hai, tu zindagi kasam se hai"....Love u guys to bits....and look at the coincidence that today I talked to 2 of my dearest....I really loved it though it was as it is........

Friendship is also one of God's given gift to us..........Friends are people and dears with whom we share everything that one may not even share with parents sometimes....someone who is there to help us in times of need-I Love U Girls......
I am sorry if my behaviour is affecting you but along with you guys, I am also making myself suffer ain't I? Being posted to one corner and not having any one around to go home with, have lunch with etc. is really very depressing and throughout this whole time, I would really be missing you but before putting friends, I have to put my family first, na? If it was a little thing, I really wouldn't bother but this is the main source of everything for us-So how can I cast it aside? Just because they are doing like that, do I also do and not give a thought for my parents and biz etc?

Yes I am feeling very sad that can't meet, I am feeling jealous that I am posted to one corner, can't join u guys for meeting, get to miss so much of fun and happiness and laughter.......but what can I do for the moment?

For all these while, you've been there for me...

You've never let me down...

Even through the longest and toughest of days...

You stuck beside me the whole way through.

We may have fighted a couple of times.

I hope our friendship will last forever.

And if by chance we get seperated...

By what ever it may be...

I know we will meet once again someday.

And I dreamt of HIM again today........OMG-this dreams are really such a torture but yet at the same time, they are lovely-Oh wells, as if they gonna come TRUE....haiz.....THis is LIFE

Pain

Am in so much pain.......
-Eyes hurt from the tears that flow like a tap that can't be closed...trying to relax by closing my eyes only makes it worse with the images flashing before my eyes.......
-Legs hurting from the stupid wound.....I chose the medicine from the fear of operation and pain....instead, it is so much more freaking painful now.....Shoes are a torture-Thank god for the slipper if not my leg wud have died by the second week.........
-Emotional pain from all that is happening around me....so much confusion...so much misunderstand.....so much suffering....so much jealousy....so much anger!

All I know I wanna do is to go HOME.....but where is my home? Does your home have to be the place where you stay? WHERE EXACTLY IS HOME?

Missing Them

OMG-I didn't expect myself to be so WEAK. I so miss them....I want them to come back now...I know I am being selfish but please come back soon.....I know it is only for three weeks but I miss you guys too much! It is too unbearable to come home to an empty house. It is so quiet without having Chotu running around, Mummy and Daddy scolding or talking...It is just so....Weird without them. Although this isn't the first time that they have gone leaving me and my bro, it just feels so different now. I guess previously we would move to Mummy's[Sonu's] house so at least it would feel that there is still someone....now it's like a dead place....I so miss mummy's cooking..........Please come back fast....Life is just so boring and dead without you guys....I can do without everything except you guys..........The tears flowing down can't control themselves and know not how to stop....Please come back before they create a flood in the house.....................

It's just so depressing especially with life's happening and all these shit things-So sick and tired of everything.....

You say about him-have a good look at yourself before you say about others.....

This is what I have learnt form some experience-Just like how they say that You should love yourself first before you love others, that's the same way you should have a good look about yourself before you say anything about others.
You say that he is just making use of me....how about yourself? Tum mujhe tab find karte ho when tumko kisse baat karna ho.....All just for TIME PASS! Just when you want someone jo ki tumhari madde kare....You know what-F*** You!

Am just so SICK and TIRED of everything..........Yes, I am not making an effort to meet up and all-lakin kya tumhe parwa hai? Haiz......Well, this is LIFE-Live on.........