Relationships

I feel betrayed
Broken and bruised
A string that’s been frayed
Bended and abused

I feel all alone
Small and empty
No light being shone
Into the caverns of pity

When everything started
To seem right
The angel of happiness darted
Out of sight

And left me here
All alone in the dark
NO one of the dear
Just death: damp and stark

I want to just cry
But is it really worth it?
I might ask you why?
But I’m not gonna cry over this shit

And being alone in a cave full of depression
Makes you realize.
That life goes to show you
Trust someone, Love someone
Just know that they’re gonna hurt you too.
By Jennifer Whitton

The above poem totally describes the feeling being felt by me at this current moment. Seriously, it summaries the whole feeling that I am feeling right now. However, one thing is for sure is that I know that this whole thing is done with and completely over. Its OVER!

I know I have written or rather said all those shit before abt not wanting to care and such, but there was always a small tiny hope of things becoming better but now, it is completely being finished and all emotional attachments being cut, torn and thrown away.

THE ONES WHO ARE RELATED TO U, TURN OUT TO BE THE ONES WITH WHOM U R NOT MEANT TO BE IN RELATIONSHIP WITH. THE ONES WHO ARE TOTALLY NOT BLOOD RELATED WITH U, TURN OUT TO BE THE ONES WHO SHOWER U WITH THE LOVE AND CARE THAT IS SUPPOSE TO BE SHOWN TO U BY RELATED ONES. IN THE END-"KITNE DOOR,KITNE PASS"->THIS SENTENCE SEEMS TO BE SO DAMN TRUE......

Now, I find myself void of all the feelings, attachments that I had-be it for them or the niece and nephews.......Totally void of all sort of feelings...............

At this moment, I am totally missing my dearest niece , whom GOD graciously brought to me at a very crucial moment. I am missing TRISHA very badly.... Goodness-She came and went away like an ANGEL, who for a brief and short moment gave me lots of happiness that I deserve as a MAUSI. I can't wait to see that little angel again..... Hopefully its gonna be soon.......

FT Job

WOW-My dad got me a FT job. Frankly speaking, upon hearing this news upon just entering the house, my heart just hit the bottom. I can still remember the feeling I was feeling throughout the whole time from when I heard the news and till I reached the place for the interview. I guess it was just the disinterest that I had for the job being offered as I am more or less interested in Teaching jobs .... My poor poor Vandana baby patiently listened to my non-stop irritating whining and the cute cute things she said to give me moral support was so cute and very much appreciated. On the other hand, what Mynah said also made sense and seriously-I was in total turmoil.

However, I gave it a try and got the job and I guess its just interesting to try a new thing apart from what am always doing. However, I guess the happiest thing about this is that now I would be able to meet all my dearest friends for DINNER SESSION!!!! I am damn excited about this fact and also about starting a new job. All in all, as I was talking out things with her, I just had a terribly strong and positive feeling when I told her that I have a feeling I am gonna totally end up working for my Daddy.

In a way, he is someone I totally am starting to see in a new light as I am now able to see that though he does things at the 11th hour, he still does go for what he wants and ensures that in one way or another, he achieves it. I just have prayers and hopes that I seriously and happily can support him alongside happily with GOD showering his blessings on all the conquest that we set out to tackle.

I am so so so so so so anxious and curious to know what Life has in store for me......

Meeting Up

Goodness...lately I realised that it is some sort of difficult to meet up frens and loved ones [I dont think I have anyone under tis category]. I realised that its really kind of hard to get everyone to meet at one spot as there is surely something that would come up......... Nonetheless, the feeling that one feels after meeting a dear fren after a long long time is juz damn wonderous-the tight and long hug that u give each other and the feeling u feel.....

Nonetheless, there is still a need to maintain contact in one way or another be it just a little message saying Morning-the feeling of just keeping in touch is better than not being in touch and not knowing what is happening with them-it really hurts to remember that u do not know what is happening with them.....