Moving On.....

In the end-I can just and always only remember this saying=No matter how much you do, in the end, it always falls short! Reason being, this saying totally applies to my life in a perfect way..I always plan or rather hope for my life to go one way and another thing happens that forces it go another totally different and unexpected way....

-I had planned to go JC. However, I ended up doing Poly.
-I had planned on going to India while awaiting the Olevel results. However, I ended up staying here and working.
-I had planned on doing the early edu course. However, I ended up doing Banking n Finance.
-I had planned on going Uni. However, I ended up having to apply for it next year.
-I had planned on going to India in Nov and enjoying myself all the way till Feb. However, I ended up going in Aug and staying only for a month, that also following her around, having to listen and bear with it as she said whatever she wished to others without caring abt moi feelings.....marvelous, aint it-nothing changed despite the fact that I actually followed her cos she was being depressed n worried each day-so abt the thing that I want=Who gives a F*** abt it na?

With all that has happened and all, I guess I am now just to scared to even think or imagine about my future....I really have totally no idea as to what tom holds for me because anything that I am hoping to happen, isnt happening at all-WHY???!!???

I worked so hard and in the end, it all came to naught. The reason being that in the end, all that matters to them is:-
-the fact that I am totally wasting a year, when I shud have worked myself hard enuf to be able to secure a place in Uni
-the fact that other peoples sons are able to get admission letters from two unis and I am at home
Amazing isnt it that now, they are different ppl popping up for them to compare me to whereas last time, there used to be the other Pooja and the reason that she is no longer being dragged into the picture is because she is working?!?

Seriously, why must there be competition, where must there be the talk that this persons son/daughter is doing this, this and this etc.??? I mean, everyones life is different, why just two totally different people be compared with each other? Why cant the fact that the person himself/herself is working hard enuf be a thing to consider???
Why is it that they can look at all the above mentioned things and yet forget about how I used to study to ensure that I cud get thru my ICAs and Exams, why cant they look at the matter that I used to score good marks that placed me the top in class sometimes and congratulate me for that? Why cant they look at the matter that I used to do projects until I wud just totally lose it and start snapping away? Why dont all this things matter to them?
Why can they only see that I am wasting away a year and make me out to be a bad example to the two of them? Why cant it be viewed as an opportunity for me to be able to take a step back and relax? Why cant I be able to do and get wad I want? When I wanted to go for a break, they made me work and when he wanted to work, they sent him on a break-wheres the fairness in this???
All this just because of us belonging in a society which has nothing better to do than to compare one another and bad mouth those who dare to step out and life their own life........Screw this......

Frankly speaking, I am seriously and really damn sick and tired with this whole thing-I guess the reason that I have been whining to my friends about going back to India is because I desire, crave and want a break from all this thats currently going on....I really want a break-GIVE ME A BREAK! This is why everyday, I keep thinking about India and craving to go back....I really wanna go BACK!!!


I jus wan a person with whom I can just blabber out everything and let it all out....I jus want a good cry....