Tired

I am just feeling so exhausted for no idea why but its just so tiring and all-I have no idea if its because of physical exhaustion or mental but whatever it is-am damn tired and the stupid thing is that though am getting sufficient sleep, it doesnt seem to be sufficient especially now that am waking up in the middle of the night at least 3-4 times.

Currently the worst thing about it is that I really dont feel like talking about it so when the two asked about it, I really did not feel like talking about it-Maybe you can say that all I am doing is just trying to avoid it but someway or other, I am feeling better in this way- dont know if its cause am scared to talk abt it or am just too sick of it that I dont wanna mention it and the sickening thing is that because of the whole issue, we are the ones bearing the end of the brunt-its so damn effing not fair! To listen and hear things is making it all worst-I think the only way to really get it over and out with would be confrontation of which I know its unlikely to happen so as of now, I am gonna bear with it and just keep quiet-when the time comes, things would get better themselves, as far as possible, am gonna leave it alone and not talk and try not to think ahout it at all..........

Well about all in all am thankful that at least for certain times of the day, I am able to totally forget and live in a part whereby there is innocence as well as nonsense around but the sad thing is that it is gonna end soon-am thinking of working for a year but at the same time, am feeling scared firstly of getting a job and secondly, of telling it to them.........

Haiz, moreover-I feel like an idiot currently, there seems to be a growing distance and I feel like I am fading away in the background, I seem to be knowing less and less and its painful to have such a feeling on the second hand, I feel like an idiot for my leniency feeling, hearing her talk-I understood her and today, hearing her talk-i fel bad for her as well, in the end- I decided that there are going to be lots of things happening in life and if one chooses to be such and keep jumping-the one who is gonna get it the worst is not gonna be them but the other party-I really pity the teachers as they are the ones who have it the hardest-they have it the worst-to tolerate all sortsa nonsense for a semester and yet suffer even though exams are over......frankly speaking having heard from her point-I still pity the other cause in the end, though she was only doing her job, she still had to do so so so so so much more and placing myself in that situation, I think I am such a temperemental person that i would have not had cared as much as she did.....but in the end, I guess as a teacher-your heart,no matter how hard it is, would just melt...........

Am just feeling so sick and tired and vexed but for some reason.....I just wanna keep to myself for now and I have no idea why I wanna like this as well......TIRED.