I know I am not perfect but so are U!........GOD has created all of us with defects, some with more than one:-
-I know I am big Sized-So? I still love/like myself
-I know my feets are broad and big-So? I can still get slippers my size
-I know my face doesn't have smooth skin and all-So? I still love my face features esp my eys and my smile [I know I am being thick skin here, but yea]
-I know I am not as fair as my cousins-So? My current skin colour is the result of my fav sport-Swimming
-I know my mood swing sucks-So? Everyone/Majority of the people suffer from mood swings
Before you look at others and say things that put you in a good spot, have a GOOD look at yourself first-ARE U PERFECT? If you dare say -YES, then you should go to WOODBRIDGE because nobody in this World is perfect-Everyone is born with defects-too short, fat, thin, tall, dark, fair etc....
It's not that I don't try-I tolerate with your nonsense and everything all because of the relationship that we have. I give you chances again and again because I put myself in your shoes and think that when I was your age, I did lots of stupid stuff as well but....how long do I have to keep on doing this? Don't accuse me of being like my cuz cos I am not...we are from the same family but I ain't B***h like her.....I want to go out with you and everything but no trust is given, I wanna confide in you but you tell others/tell tales so what's the point of confiding? and I try to treat u like a lil dear but what is the point when you act as a know-it-all?The anger in me is so boiling now that if I want, I would write down all your defects right here and now-but what's the point? That would make me stoop down to the same level as you....You wanna compare yourself to me-Go ahead but please....if not naturally, I can do things medically but how about yourself?-The most you can go is 6/10 inches [if you can carry off that is....]-Oh well, we shall see.....
I am so sick and tired of everything now....I wanna become my old-self again.....the old me who used to be a good and quiet person, who used to do her works on time and who used to go home and everything after school.....I am so gonna revert back or if not,. then change for the better......
There is a great satisfaction in doing housework but I don't think I can ever become an ideal housewife-I do things way too last minute but the satisfaction of seeing the result of your efforts is just AWESOME!
Whatever-This is life and this is how it works....LONELINESS IS KILLING MOI!!!!!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY-FRIDAY
Haha....can't wait for it at all!! Finally!!! It's coming-It's Coming!
My family life is going crazy!! I am so hating my family now [some members of my extended fam, that is]-Oh well....whatever-I can't be bothered anymore and am now so happy that at least, even my dad realised it! If that was what he did, I am so PROUD-I know it is being evil...but for what he did for her...that was the "Just Dessert" :P
Haha....can't wait for it at all!! Finally!!! It's coming-It's Coming!
My family life is going crazy!! I am so hating my family now [some members of my extended fam, that is]-Oh well....whatever-I can't be bothered anymore and am now so happy that at least, even my dad realised it! If that was what he did, I am so PROUD-I know it is being evil...but for what he did for her...that was the "Just Dessert" :P
Monday, March 24, 2008
Holi Celebration
Woohoo-Holi was a BLAST! Thanks a lot Poonam and Anshu for convincing me to go....Thank you so much!!! Haha ...if not for you both, I wouldn't had enjoyed so much nor get coloured like a clown nor "scare" the people at Jalan Kayu and nor dance straight for 4.5 hours!!!
Omg Omg-What a day!
Had work in the morning and during that, bro called and smsed me to go for the holi celebrations....finally, mom allowed so I went. After work, decided to meet Poonam and Family at 4...-This is why I say Family is so much more important and worth your attention than friends....I asked you guys along, some had plans, work etc. ....Well, this is how life works-Accept it & I have ald accepted it now!
Well, came home-too lazy and rushing for time to go Sonu's house. Eat lunch then got ready, cousin came and then we made our way. Met up with Poonam and fam then uncle sent us to Boon Keng. From there-Poonam and fam went to get her specs while I and cuz went to get the colours....-Just when we get out at Lil India-It is raining cats and dogs and yet we walked in the rain to the shop and back to farrer park..
Haha as we were walking acroos this pathway, running over a longkang, Saw a guy who was trying to cut queue and he "jumped"over the longkang only to drop in it-It was literally quite a scene. Haha....
Ok, then the celebration started-throwing of colours on one and all-haha the colours are still not getting off and now I have a red/pink rimmed glasses....anyway, soon after that-was Dance time! Oh Man-when I get wif Poonam and Beena...haha all is forgotten except teh though of dancing! Though we agreed not to do our stuffs, in the end-We were still mopping, sweeping the floor and cleaning the windows...haha. Apart from all these, were also Anupam's performance [quite nice but it wasn't that smooth in coordination], Sheila did's performance [great dance] and the best was Shudhir and his Bro-In-Law's DHOL performance...OMG-with every beat, it was as if your heart was pumping hard as well-Sheetal Did is one lucky lady to have such a hip and talented hubby...haha still remember her wedding ....One of a kind-the only wedding where the girl leaves laughing along with the family and the mehndi night-haha the way the Dhol troupe had came to the hall dressed as ladies-Oh well, this are the incidents that make life Great....
Anyway, after all that was dancing and dancing and dancing-Daljit came and woohoo-more dancing...but the whole thing had to end and after that, we went home [I went for a lil washup at Nisa's house] then Uncle came and picked us up reluctantly and according to suggestions, made us sit on the floor....haha Unique experience-Girl's at the front and Guys sat at the back. Well, talking and laughing and singing and listening to songs, we made our way home but before that-we went for dinner at Jalan Kayu-Just imagine...a group of 7 people [6 at the worst] all dressed in clothes which are coloured, bottoms filled with mud [Oh yea, I forgot-It had rained so we walked, ran and danced in the rain!] walking at 12 midnight to go and eat dinner-it was really quite a sight! Haha some were really staring and some laughed-haha there was this kid who got scared.....
Well, all things have to come to an end. So after dinner, we made our way home to washup and drop on our beds......Well, till now, it is still aches and pains and struggle to get the colours off.....Time would get it off and get the pain away-Woohoo...parents coming back soon-Finally!!! Now, I am so happy......
{Holi pictures coming as soon as I get them :P }
Omg Omg-What a day!
Had work in the morning and during that, bro called and smsed me to go for the holi celebrations....finally, mom allowed so I went. After work, decided to meet Poonam and Family at 4...-This is why I say Family is so much more important and worth your attention than friends....I asked you guys along, some had plans, work etc. ....Well, this is how life works-Accept it & I have ald accepted it now!
Well, came home-too lazy and rushing for time to go Sonu's house. Eat lunch then got ready, cousin came and then we made our way. Met up with Poonam and fam then uncle sent us to Boon Keng. From there-Poonam and fam went to get her specs while I and cuz went to get the colours....-Just when we get out at Lil India-It is raining cats and dogs and yet we walked in the rain to the shop and back to farrer park..
Haha as we were walking acroos this pathway, running over a longkang, Saw a guy who was trying to cut queue and he "jumped"over the longkang only to drop in it-It was literally quite a scene. Haha....
Ok, then the celebration started-throwing of colours on one and all-haha the colours are still not getting off and now I have a red/pink rimmed glasses....anyway, soon after that-was Dance time! Oh Man-when I get wif Poonam and Beena...haha all is forgotten except teh though of dancing! Though we agreed not to do our stuffs, in the end-We were still mopping, sweeping the floor and cleaning the windows...haha. Apart from all these, were also Anupam's performance [quite nice but it wasn't that smooth in coordination], Sheila did's performance [great dance] and the best was Shudhir and his Bro-In-Law's DHOL performance...OMG-with every beat, it was as if your heart was pumping hard as well-Sheetal Did is one lucky lady to have such a hip and talented hubby...haha still remember her wedding ....One of a kind-the only wedding where the girl leaves laughing along with the family and the mehndi night-haha the way the Dhol troupe had came to the hall dressed as ladies-Oh well, this are the incidents that make life Great....
Anyway, after all that was dancing and dancing and dancing-Daljit came and woohoo-more dancing...but the whole thing had to end and after that, we went home [I went for a lil washup at Nisa's house] then Uncle came and picked us up reluctantly and according to suggestions, made us sit on the floor....haha Unique experience-Girl's at the front and Guys sat at the back. Well, talking and laughing and singing and listening to songs, we made our way home but before that-we went for dinner at Jalan Kayu-Just imagine...a group of 7 people [6 at the worst] all dressed in clothes which are coloured, bottoms filled with mud [Oh yea, I forgot-It had rained so we walked, ran and danced in the rain!] walking at 12 midnight to go and eat dinner-it was really quite a sight! Haha some were really staring and some laughed-haha there was this kid who got scared.....
Well, all things have to come to an end. So after dinner, we made our way home to washup and drop on our beds......Well, till now, it is still aches and pains and struggle to get the colours off.....Time would get it off and get the pain away-Woohoo...parents coming back soon-Finally!!! Now, I am so happy......
{Holi pictures coming as soon as I get them :P }
Monday, March 17, 2008
Just Give Up
I now you guys care for me and all.....but I end up disappointing and hurting you:-
I AM REALLY SORRY FOR IT!
Just give up on me, k? I am so not worth the energy you spent on being disappointed and frustrated![I don't know how to put it and how to explain anymore....I know everyone is working hard and is tired and everything but things are really going the wrong way for me]
I so miss everyone...it's been 1 month plus since i saw you guys, don't you think that I also want to meet up?If you guys are frustrated or disappointed-tell it to my face.....don't just expect me to understand without words-I am not so good/clever...
I don't know what has come over me and what is coming over me but I really want to GIVE UP and END IT ALL-The pain is just too unbearable.....
No more HOLI celebrations for me.....No shower of colours...no dance...no party....No Anything!
I AM REALLY SORRY FOR IT!
Just give up on me, k? I am so not worth the energy you spent on being disappointed and frustrated![I don't know how to put it and how to explain anymore....I know everyone is working hard and is tired and everything but things are really going the wrong way for me]
I so miss everyone...it's been 1 month plus since i saw you guys, don't you think that I also want to meet up?If you guys are frustrated or disappointed-tell it to my face.....don't just expect me to understand without words-I am not so good/clever...
I don't know what has come over me and what is coming over me but I really want to GIVE UP and END IT ALL-The pain is just too unbearable.....
No more HOLI celebrations for me.....No shower of colours...no dance...no party....No Anything!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Expecations + Disappointments
They say-Never have expectations from others if not, you would only end up disappointed-but can we help ourselves from expecting from others?
I don't know about others but I definitely cannot.......it always happens to me....Whenever I expect something to happen, it would not happen and whatever I pray to not happen, it happens-I would seriously doubt if am an unlucky person......
No matter how many times it happens, there is always the expectations....e.g with Aisha, whenever we plan on going out or whatever, she would always have something on in the end-it has always been happening like this since I have known her and yet I would always expect her to turn up the next time we plan on going out only to end up disappointed....though I would expect it, there would always be the disappointment which would stab you hard like a knife.
For now, it is the HOLI thing. Parents and Sonu and all would get top celebrate it in India and as for me, I am going to celebrate by being and Mummy's house and helping to clear up in preparation for Sonu and Bhaiya's arrival. I had though of going for this year's celebration lakin kya hua-I had emailed sab and told them abt it and then, jab maine unse pujhe tab-sab ke paas kuch na kuch tha.....it just hurted even more painfully yaar.....first time ki maine koi outting planned karne ki koshish ki-and look at the response-ALL NOT COMING! Agar aise bhi hota ki 1 aata/aati to bahut khushi hoti lakin....haha-Kya dosti......
Expectations of at least one to turn up, expectations for you to reply and expectations for you to call.................I feel as if maine ek Help Desk hoon-Jab help ki jarorat pari then u looked for me otherwise, kahan ho tum? Tumhe sms, offline messages diya and ur reply-Nothing......
I don't know about others but I definitely cannot.......it always happens to me....Whenever I expect something to happen, it would not happen and whatever I pray to not happen, it happens-I would seriously doubt if am an unlucky person......
No matter how many times it happens, there is always the expectations....e.g with Aisha, whenever we plan on going out or whatever, she would always have something on in the end-it has always been happening like this since I have known her and yet I would always expect her to turn up the next time we plan on going out only to end up disappointed....though I would expect it, there would always be the disappointment which would stab you hard like a knife.
For now, it is the HOLI thing. Parents and Sonu and all would get top celebrate it in India and as for me, I am going to celebrate by being and Mummy's house and helping to clear up in preparation for Sonu and Bhaiya's arrival. I had though of going for this year's celebration lakin kya hua-I had emailed sab and told them abt it and then, jab maine unse pujhe tab-sab ke paas kuch na kuch tha.....it just hurted even more painfully yaar.....first time ki maine koi outting planned karne ki koshish ki-and look at the response-ALL NOT COMING! Agar aise bhi hota ki 1 aata/aati to bahut khushi hoti lakin....haha-Kya dosti......
Expectations of at least one to turn up, expectations for you to reply and expectations for you to call.................I feel as if maine ek Help Desk hoon-Jab help ki jarorat pari then u looked for me otherwise, kahan ho tum? Tumhe sms, offline messages diya and ur reply-Nothing......
WHY DO I BOTHER?-My Life just S*cks Big Time!
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